Editing the briefs

Whenever I'm asked to evaluate a paper, I first look at the briefs. That's right, not A1 or any of the other gaudy section fronts. Where the rubber meets the road in taking care of business on the desk is in getting well-edited, well-headlined briefs. If attention is being paid to what is too often a mind-numbing job of cutting and assembling those, chances are the big stuff will look good, too.

Here's a case in point, a wire story picked up in a local paper:

CHARLESTON

Decomposed Body
found under dock

A woman found a body under a dock Sunday in Ellis Creek near James Island.
The body was too decomposed for police to immediately determine an identity, police spokesman Charles Francis said.
The dock is in an upscale neighborhood.
The woman who discovered the body said residents had been in the water playing all day when she saw a boot under the dock.

My comments and re-edit:

1. The story probably moved on AP with a Charleston dateline. But when that was stripped, the city should go in the body of the story – even if it is the overline in the hed (I showed it to three people, and two of them missed the Charleston in the overline).
2. This story moved in Tuesday's paper. We have Sunday in the lede. That just telegraphs "old news." So that has to be moved down. (We have got to think about this in this 24/7 world. Too many papers still let this kind of stuff through.)
3. The lede is dull. Advance the story:
   

A body found under a dock in Ellis Creek was too decomposed to identify immediately, Charleston police spokesman Charles Francis says.
The woman who discovered the body Sunday said residents had been in the water playing all day when she saw a boot under the dock in a an upscale James Island neighborhood.

Short, sweet and to the point, and it doesn't say "old news." It even gives you more room to add another graf with real information. Unfortunately, the AP story had almost nothing else except that the coroner was investigating (we'd certainly hope so). But this was the actual line from the wire story: The body was too decomposed for police to immediately determine the man's race, police spokesman Charles Francis said.

So this compounds a poor edit, which could at least have told us the body was that of a man. (Put it in the second graf: The woman who discovered the man's body ...)

I've also taken out "upscale." It's an unneeded code word.

Pay attention to your briefs. They say a lot about your paper and Web site.

Too good to not mention

Sometimes, when you finally get to your back reading, you find gems like this from John Means, proprietor of The Village Wordsmith, the writing and editing newsletter of the San Antonio Express-News:

Mahatma Gandhi, in the days he was giving the British a bad time, developed callouses as he walked across India, and bad breath and ill health as well.
That made him a super calloused fragile mystic, vexed with halitosis.

Take that, Mary Poppins. OK, you can groan now.

Punctuation explained

Well, as much as anyone can ever explain it, I guess.

But I do recommend these two readings from the Writing Center at Boise State that I came across while looking for something else. They take a sensible approach to the topic while navigating between the "rules" method and the "throw it in wherever you think it's needed" method.

Punctuation as a system, the hierarchy of punctuation: http://www.boisestate.edu/wcenter/ww81punc.htm
Focus on the comma (with an excellent section on why the "pause" method does not work well): http://www.boisestate.edu/wcenter/ww109.htm

Priceless quote

John McIntyre, assistant managing editor in charge of the Baltimore Sun's desks, is one of the most engaging people you will meet. He is also one of the most quotable. From his "You Don't Say" blog where a reader writes "You say 'nerds' like it's a bad thing," John responds:

I was a bookish kid with thick eyeglasses who despised all known forms of sport. I majored in English. I write a blog on English usage and teach copy editing. I have a daughter who is on the point of graduating from Swarthmore with a double major in Latin and Greek. When I use "nerd," I speak with authority.

The gentleman with the bow tie may now be seated.

Language Log-the book

Language Log is one of those must-read sites for anyone interested in language and usage, even though copy editors and the linguistic proprietors of LL have had their run-ins over the years.

So in the ecumenical spirit, I point out that there now is Language Log-the book: "Far from the Madding Gerund and Other Dispatches from Language Log."

I haven't read it yet, but if the one review on Amazon praises it, and if it holds up to the lively banter Mark Liberman and Geoffrey Pullum produce on Language Log, it should be a good read.

Diagramming sentences

For many of us of a certain generation, the thought of diagramming sentences brings back nightmares of Mrs. McGinty's fourth- and fifth-grade English. Yet it still can be useful to be able to parse out the parts of a sentence when they aren't dancing together nicely so that you can figure out what's wrong and fix it.

So I recommend Eugene R. Moutoux's Diagramming Sentences site. Yes, it may bring back some nightmares, but it's a great refresher. And if you can get down around sentence 50 and do those diagrams, you should be awarded the Order of the Grammar with Gold Palms. (And Mrs. McGinty would be so proud.)

Farmers Market - and other sticky points in AP style

Here's are some other good ones from the AP Ask the Editor that clear up points that arise occasionally:

Does the term Farmers Market use an apostrophe after the s? Or should we not use one at all? – from Ohio: AP style, based on information from the Washington State Farmers Market Association and the USDA, is "farmers market" with no apostrophe. (Generally, the farmers do not own the market.)

(Note from Doug: You will find wide variations and assertions on the Web about farmers vs. farmers'. Either can be considered correct. The farmers' style is called the genitive descriptive, and there is a fair amount of debate about using it in things like teachers(') college, etc. The AP style on farmers conforms to the wire service's general guide that when something is for someone or something else, then no apostrophe. Thus teachers college (a college for teachers), citizens band radio (a radio band for citizens), Yankees first baseman (first baseman for the Yankees) and farmers market (a market for farmers -- note that AP points out "generally, the farmers do not own the market."). This AP style is not definitive, however, if you are not working for AP or an organization that follows AP style. Farmers' can just as easily be supported in a house style. Just be consistent.)

Please address "will be held," as in "The meeting will be held Saturday." Our copy desk claims it is "redundant and wrong," and removes the "held" in all cases, even when it sounds awkward. – from Redding, CA: It does read awkwardly without the "held." We'd use it. (Sorry, Norm. I have to disagree with you there. The meeting will be Saturday makes perfect sense to me without "held." That falls into the same category as saying x is "located at" y -- located is almost never needed. Of course, even better would be, when possible, to recast more directly: The group will meet Saturday." An "on Saturday" could be used if there was any confusion the group is meeting someone named Saturday.)

I'm wondering if it is accurate to refer to a doctor of chiropractic medicine with a Dr. in front of his or her name. The Stylebook says to use Dr. with a doctor of osteopathy, which is similar to but not the same as a chiropractic doctor. And while some states require a four-year undergraduate degree before attending chiropractic school, other states just require a two-year degree.: AP does not use the title "Dr." for chiropractors.

There's a good deal of confusion and no apparent widespread agreement among some fine newspapers about reporting blood alcohol content. Is it proper to call a BAC figure as a percentage? The AP at times refers to an individual's blood alcohol content as 0.24 percent, for example, and at other times treats the figure without the "percent.'' Thank you.: AP generally uses the blood content level figure without percent, as it appears to be familiar to readers (in context). However, both forms are acceptable. (Note from Doug: Generally, it is best to use it without the percent, as it really does not refer to a percentage as normal people use it, but to a volume measurement. Percentage means something different to toxiclogists. But please, do use the zero before the decimal to avoid confusion.)

In regards to your answer on the bulleted list, do you use periods even if the line item is only one word? – from Portland, OR: Yes, AP style on lists is to use a period at the end of each section, even if the "section" is one word.

I read an AP dispatch today that cited the potential for millions of dollars of "damages" to Florida's economy if a hurricane breached dikes on Lake Okeechobee. Shouldn't that be "damage"? My understanding is that storms (or other natural disasters) cause damage, courts award damages. – from Toledo, OH: You understand correctly. The singular form is defined as injury to a person or thing, the plural is a legal term for moneys claimed by or ordererd to a person to compensate for that injury or loss.

In a sentence such as "The store was built two and a half years ago." would two and a half be spelled out or written in numerals (2 1/2)? – from Bend, Ore.: Whenever possible -- depending on available type fonts -- use figures for precise amounts larger than 1, as in "2 1/2 years."

AP and the hyphen

AP has added some language to the hyphen entriy in the 2006 Stylebook:

Use of the hyphen is far from standardized. It is optional in most cases, a matter of taste, judgment and style sense. But the fewer hyphens the better; use them only when not using them causes confusion. (Small-businessman, but health care center.) See individual entries in this book. If not listed here, use the first listed entry in Webster's New World College Dictionary.

The inclusion of "health care center" clears up a continuing question. (Note, for instance, this contrasts with the Wall Street Journal, which hyphenates that and many other terms. I happen to like the WSJ's style, never having understood journalists' aversion to hyphens, but am more than willing to follow AP now that stylebook editor Norm Goldstein has made it clear.)

From the new Web feature Ask The Editor (unlike the online stylebook, this section is free), Goldstein also notes AP would not use the hyphen in fixed income portfolio or personal injury law.

A Memorial Day reminder

Many of us will be writing stories today mentioning "taps," those haunting 24 notes.

A reminder that under AP, New York Times, Webster's New World College and many other style guides and dictionaries, the term is lowercased with no quotation marks.

And as a bugle call, it is more correctly "sounded" than "played."

So the correct use: A bugler sounded taps at his burial.

I was reminded of this by the misuse on the Web by NPR's "Performance Today," which otherwise has an excellent story on the bugle call and its history, along with a discussion with Army Sgt. Maj. Woody English about taps and its history. (audio)

Apple v. Bloggers - Apple loses this round

A welcome ruling comes from a California appeals court (N.Y. Times story) that online reporters have the same rights as ink-stained or hairsprayed wretches.

This is the case of Apple suing bloggers who had great informants and were scopping Apple on its own product announcements. (For my earlier writings and thoughts, try here and here.) The appeals court ruled they are protected by California's shield law.

Quoting from the Times:

Apple had argued that Web sites publishing reports about Apple were not engaged in legitimate news gathering but rather were misappropriating trade secrets and violating copyrights. But in its ruling on Friday, the panel disagreed.

"Beyond casting aspersions on the legitimacy of petitioners' enterprise, Apple offers no cogent reason to conclude that they fall outside the shield law's protection," the ruling states.

The appeals court tossed out a lower-court ruling that the bloggers were not protected when they published trade secrets. "The right to keep and maintain proprietary information as such is a right which the California Legislature and courts have long affirmed and which is essential to the future of technology and innovation generally," the first judge wrote.

But don't break out the champagne just yet. First, this is just California. Second, the stakes here are high for business -- and for journalists who have to cover business, which is just about everybody in some form these days. (You're a government reporter and don't think so? How about asking your local city or county manager how many private companies are now doing jobs, such as providing medical care at the jail or housing records, that used to be solely the city's or county's province.)

We're likely to see more litigation as the months and years go by, especially as people with specialized knowledge and contacts in these areas take to publishing more and more on the Internet. And, of course, Apple may well appeal. So far, it's not saying.

Attracting the best and brightest

Former investigative reporter and now journalism teacher Willy Stern flings a broadside at Gannett in the latest edition of Nashville Scene. In "Thin News, Fat Profits," Stern makes some excellent points -- but he would have done better to stick to those and not be suckered into the shopworn criticism of Gannett and the profit margins it wrings from its generally unremarkable newspapers.

The real point that Stern begins to explore, but which then gets smothered by an overabundance of prose and vitriol, is the true crisis of attracting the best talent that journalism needs. From his position inside the ivy halls and his experience as a journalist, Stern has a distinguished perspective that would allow him to not only explore the problem but perhaps propose some solutions. His solution, however, appears to boil down to the old doggerel of make less money, spend it instead on better editors/journalists, do better journalism.

Make less money? But then he has this:

Bear with me while I share a story. In 2004, Microsoft chairman Bill Gates found himself seated next to a journalist on an airplane, and allowed that he had finally determined who his software firm’s major competition was. IBM, perhaps? Nope. Not Apple either. “It’s Goldman Sachs,” Gates explained, noting that he was referring to the competition for brainpower. “I mean the competition for talent. It’s all about I.Q.,” Gates continued. “You win with I.Q. Our only competition for I.Q. is the top investment banks.”

Why do you think the investment banks -- or for that matter Microsoft -- attract that talent? Because they make lots of money. The difference is, they share it with their top performers in a merit system that would produce howls in many newsrooms. (And, perhaps, rightly so. Journalism is a reactive business -- in fact, it can be argued that's what's hurt journalism, too much preplanned news. Investment banking is not under the constraints of being dependent on what others do; an investment banker has much more opportunity to drum up his or her own business. Of course, the comparison is not perfect; one can argue a good journalist stays ahead of the curve. But the reality is it's still someone else's curve.)

But while Stern's piece suffers as it goes on from some of the same tiresome arguments and a big dollop of calling most current journalists middling morons, the top is worth reading and pondering because it begins to tackle that core issue -- attracting top talent. After all, if people don't want to invest in you with their future, why would they want to invest part of their lives to read you every day?

Some choice parts:

In recent years, I have been privileged to teach journalism to a fairly diverse cross-section of talented students at Vanderbilt University, Colorado College, Fisk University and Williams College. With few exceptions, my high-I.Q. students say in no uncertain terms that they would no more seek a job at their local chain-owned newspaper after college than they would, in the words of one of my more colorful Vandy students, “work as the public ass wiper down at the Davidson County courthouse.”

At Vanderbilt, I repeat my favorite line about Nashville’s Gannett-owned daily: “The best thing about The Tennessean is that you can pick it up at the end of your driveway and have it read by the time you get to your trash can at the back.” My students respond with blank faces. It’s not just that they don’t read your daily—they think you’d have to be a moron to do so. And working for it? Give me a break, Professor Stern! ...

[I]n the traditional media world, we tell ourselves, Lindsey Volckmann would represent the future of journalism. A very recent graduate of Vanderbilt University, Lindsey was a stellar student in a media ethics course I taught last fall. The writing assignments Lindsey churned out in class were nothing short of extraordinary. It takes little imagination to project her into a role as dashing foreign correspondent or award-winning investigative reporter.

I ran into her early one morning at Starbucks on West End, and we chatted about her budding writing career. Perhaps, I wondered, she might like to become a journalist, or even start out as a cub reporter at The Tennessean? “Why?” she responded, acting in every way as if I had just suggested a career humping it over the French-fry machine at Burger King. Lindsey was on her way later that week to interview for consulting jobs in New York City. “Journalism used to have this aura around it, that you could bust someone’s balls and get stories out in the open,” the engaging 22-year-old from Woodside, Calif., said. “For my generation, that’s gone.”

Lindsey explained gently that she wasn’t sure that the culture at 1100 Broadway would be a good fit for her. The subtext of Lindsey’s remarks: a dumbed-down organization like The Tennessean wasn’t a place for ambitious go-getters. ...

Today’s smart kids view local newspapers and the local TV news, which they lump into the same amorphous blob, as a politically correct world in which dumb people present dumb stories in a dumb way to other dumb people.

I have added the emphasis. Stern, through Volckmann, has starkly framed the scene: the emperor has no clothes. Unfortunately, Stern goes on for many more words to lament, repeatedly, that Gannett has apparently found a fool-proof formula to mint money: Put out dumb papers by dumb journalists for dumb people (but didn't he just say that?).

Instead, let's stop and let Volckmann's words resonate a minute and then ask some key questions: Is there a way to attract the Lindsey Volckmanns back to journalism? Not necessarily to newspapers, but to journalism (it's the myopic focus on newspapers -- and glancingly to Gannett's TV operations -- that shortchanges this piece). And the answer needs more substance than the sophistic make less money and do better journalism. That might have worked when newspapers and journalism organizations were monopolies or oligopolies. But now, when it is almost certain newspapers will continue to see lower revenues (see Warren Buffett's take on things), how do we do better journalism in that environment? (What does it say, for instance, that Buffett's remarks appear on Buffalo Rising, where interactivity with the audience produces a rather smart and deep thread of thoughtful comments?)

Yes, Gannett may have found a formula, lousy as it is. Attacking the formula does little good, an empty exercise in emptying one's spleen. Thinking of ways to make journalism attractive again, while not taking a swipe at most of its current practitioners as morons, would be more constructive.

With an 'e,' Martha

Over at A Capital Idea, Nicole Stockdale points to a Gawker post taking Martha Stewart to task for noting on the cover of her new Blueprint magazine that it is the "premier" issue.


The comment section on Gawker shows how (and why) people get confused on this.

AP changes phone number style

And enters the modern era. Gone are the parentheses around area codes, a practice dropped long ago in many publications. Now, it's just 212-555-1212.

The complete new entry:
Use figures. The form: 212-621-1500. For international numbers use 011 (from the United States), the country code, the city code and the telephone number: 011-44-20-7535-1515.  Use hyphens, not periods.The form for toll-free numbers: 800-111-1000.If extension numbers are needed, use a comma to separate the main number from the extension: 212-621-1500, ext. 2.

"And" does not always make plural

There's a pretty interesting story in Business Week about President Bush's power to exempt companies from financial reporting requirements if they are working on top-secret stuff.

Nice work, but it's a bit marred by this sentence: Unbeknownst to almost all of Washington and the financial world, Bush and every other President since Jimmy Carter have had the authority to exempt companies working on certain top-secret defense projects from portions of the 1934 Securities Exchange Act.


That plural verb is like fingernails against a chalkboard.
Just because "and" is used doesn't automatically make it plural. "Every other president" shifts it back to singular by making the items segregable. You can think of it as an implied "or" phrase where the number of the last item controls.

Had it been written instead Bush and all presidents since Jimmy Carter, then have would be appropriate.

Untangling sentences

Found this gem in a Tech News story about Apple's countersuing Creative Technology in a patent dispute:

Creative Technology was granted a patent for the technology it claims Apple infringed in 2005, after applying for the patent in 2001.

So did Apple infringe the patent in 2005? Or is that when Creative was granted it? Was it Apple that applied for the patent in 2001, or was it Creative? Sure, a reader can stop momentarily and parse it, but why make it difficult?

Creative Technology was granted a patent in 2005 for the technology it claims Apple infringed. It had applied for the patent in 2001.

Much clearer.

The public speaks on grammar and usage

If you are fascinated, as I am, by the pressures on editors to "adjust" to the public's use of language -- or, if as is the case with many folks, you just want to make your blood boil -- then read Jan Freeman's recent Boston Globe column, "The verdict."

She lays out the public's vote (more than 3,000 votes) on 10 of those gremlins we like to think we slay on the copy desk. Guaranteed you'll find at least one thing to make you mutter.

I'll shake my head at No. 1 ("bored of" - approved by 22 percent), No. 5 (a dangler -- "A mild-mannered horticulturlist ad avid horsewoman, Mrs. Parker's name, nonetheless," ... 36 percent didn't care or didn't see it), No. 8 ("one of those who has" - 75 percent said it was OK).

I'm resigned to the gradual erosion of No. 3 (led to him signing a deal - in 2001, the poll had 80 percent insisting on "his" with the gerund; that's now down to 58 percent).

Yeah, yeah, some of you will say, we don't do "grammar" and "usage" by popularity poll. But we do, and the results are called dictionaries. So while one always takes these things with a certain grain of salt, it's worth paying attention.

Thanks to Nicole at A Capital Idea for the pointer.

Tripping over the words

This weekend we were treated to this bit of mash in a Wall Street Journal story about the indictment of class-action law firm Milberg Weiss Bershad & Schulman:

Earlier this past week, before the indictment was handed down but had been publicized ...

A small problem: Propositions, adverbs and the like have this nasty tendency to want to glom onto anything that follows. It's a consequence of the Amercan tendency, especially, toward elliptic writing and speech.

So here, before wants to glom onto not only "was handed" but also "but had," as in: Earlier this past week, before the indictment was handed down but (before it) had been publicized ...

Because of "but," the mind's ear wants to put in another adverb. Since none is readily available, the mind substitutes the nearest one and tries to puzzle it out.

We could try putting "when" in the second position, but that produces an awkward mental syntax -- putting the cart before the horse, so to speak. (One could also question how you can "publicize" something that does not yet exist. And is that "past" really needed when we already were into the weekend?)

So let's try this option: Earlier this week, when the indictment had been expected but before it was handed up, ...

One more word (15), but lots more clarity.

Also, notice the correct term: Indictments are handed up. Think of where the judge sits (up on the bench) relative to the jurors. So the grand jurors used to, literally, file into the courtroom and hand indictments up to the judge.

That same sentence noted that a Delaware judge had "voiced doubts" that the law firm could serve in a case. Let's ditch that overworked word "voiced" when we can. Here, the judge just as clearly expressed his thoughts. Or, "voiced doubts about Milberg's fitness" = "wondered whether Milberg was fit."

That same story also treated us to this construction: Mr. Bershad owns 17% of the firm and his share of its profits from 1983 to 2005 were more than $160 million, the grand jury found.

His share ... was. And a comma after "firm" probably wouldn't hurt, although the Journal is not alone in the ill-advised style of eschewing many of them between independent clauses. (Some debate here: If the whole thing is attributed, is it independent? Yes, treat it as such when the attribution is at the end. When the attribution is at the beginning, use and that without commas in most cases: The grand jury found that Mr. Bershad owns 17% of the firm and that his ...)

"Where's Waldo?" - newspaper version

"Where's Waldo?" was a wonderful set of books. Spent hours poring over them with my children. Had plenty of fun. Never could find all the Waldos.

But I hate playing it in my newspaper. And so do most of our readers. So when I see a front-page tease like this:

A BIT O' PARADISE: HGTV to feature a tropical paradise on the banks of the Saluda. Page E1.

When I turn to page E1, I expect to read something about HGTV. So let's play a little "Where's Waldo?" together. Here's the story:

A tropical paradise rises on the banks of the Saluda

Chip Browne and his wife Melissa Sprouse-Browne love the Florida Keys and Caribbean. Chip is a scuba diver, and the couple married a year and a half ago on the island of St. Kitts. So when it came time for the couple to build their dream home, only a home with tropical island flair would do.

Before marrying, the couple looked at several properties around Lake Murray. However, the Real Estate School of South Carolina — which they co-own — is located in Columbia. Long hours spent teaching, as well as operating an advertising agency and a small realty company, keep them in town much of their days. The thought of a long drive home was not appealing.

Then, on a whim, Sprouse-Browne happened on an unlikely property in a pocket neighborhood off an I-26 frontage road near Lexington Medical Center. The half-acre property was wooded, but she said there was a "perfect doorway" into the woods that lead to a spectacular view from a bluff of the Saluda River.

"It was a hidden gem," she said. "I called Chip and said, 'You have to come here and look at this.' ... It's just so peaceful. We made an offer that day and bought it."

Two years later, the couple is living a tropical island lifestyle in the city of Columbia.

The two-story stucco home has an L-shape design and a blue metal tile roof. A massive pool is surrounded by a slate terrace with cascading waterfall as its focal point. Practically all the rooms overlook this pool area and/or the river from wide and often floor-to-ceiling windows. Most rooms in the large part of the L-design also flow onto either the downstairs patio or the upstairs balcony through sliding doors.

Tropical elements are everywhere. Most noticeably, all the railings and the entryway gate appear to be bamboo. Upon closer inspection, however, you realize that it is metal.

"It's powder-coated aluminum," said Sprouse-Browne, "and Metal Works in Pelion worked hard to get the real look of bamboo for us."

Other interesting touches are the poolside Tiki hut bar and lighted faux palm trees, real bamboo flooring throughout the first floor and a palm tree etched in the entryway glass door by Seattle, Wash., artist P.W. Mayer.

Over simple, modern glass-front maple cabinetry in the open kitchen is a three-foot panoramic photograph of the island of St. Kitts. Colorful Tech Lighting hangs over a quartz-topped kitchen island.

One of Sprouse-Browne's favorite areas is the master bathroom. "I gave up a fireplace in our living room for this Maax rainforest shower and a Jacuzzi tub," she said.

The rainforest shower is a corner unit with sliding doors and has a seat with massaging jets, multiple shower heads and a hand-held sprayer.

Practically every piece of furniture, the accessories and the ceiling fans are made of wicker, bamboo and/or sea grass.

There are soothing Behr paint colors of rich cream and Pineapple Fizz in the main living areas of the home, while a deep coral, ocean blue and an aqua are reserved for other rooms. The master bedroom is painted with a faux finish of palm leaves. Local artist Gina Antonelli also painted tropical birds on the walls in the bonus room and a faux texture in the master bathroom.

The Brownes have created an airy, sanctuary-like home, nestled among hardwood, with the river and all its wildlife below.

"I've never lived anywhere like this in my life," said Sprouse-Browne, "and it's so nice for Chip to come home and say he really loves this house."

Five Ways the Brownes Got the Home of Their Dreams

1. They poured through five years worth of Florida Design magazines to re-create an authentic tropical look.

2. They saved fixture and furnishings advertisements and kept them in a notebook.

3. They looked online for unusual sources for bamboo and wicker furniture and accessories.

4. They inquired about out-of-the-ordinary details from local resources: salt water in their pool; a realistic bamboo look for railings.

5. They worked with local decorator Kathleen Garnett of Room for Change to find real tropical colors for their interior walls.

OK. Time's up. Found it yet? Stumped?

So was I.

Moral of the story: We're not writing children's books. Check the teasers with what the stories really say. One person should be assigned in proof, at least, to read the teaser and then the story behind it. Otherwise, you've got the classic bait and switch, something not designed to leave happy readers.

(And about that "poured" in the pullout box at the bottom? Apparently that's a Web "extra." It was spelled correctly as pored in the print version. The five years worth was wrong in both, however. It should be years'. Of course, it would be easier just to say they pored through five years of ... "worth" is usually not needed.)

Newspaperese explained

Over at the new American Copy Editors Society discussion board, Daniel Puckett of the San Antonio Express-News has posted a wonderfully dry explanation of various terms as journalists use them. It is reproduced here with his permission. (See the thread on the board for more examples.)

I've been thinking about what some words and phrases common in newspaperese actually mean:

ACTIVIST: Vocal busybody whom the reporter likes.
ARCHCONSERVATIVE, ULTRARIGHTIST: Since the world apparently holds no archliberals or ultraleftists, these must be people who the reporter thinks are very bad indeed.
BRIGHTLY COLORED CLOTHING: People from Washington state to Washington, D.C., wear all kinds of bright colors, so this signals that the reporter found the Third Worlders' native garb on this occasion particularly absurd.
DREAM HOME: Synonym for any house ever bought or built by any American.
EPICENTER: The very middle of the core of the center, a signal that the reporter doesn't know what the word actually means.
FRAGILE ECOSYSTEM: Since the term "robust ecosystem" is unknown, this means that the reporter adamantly opposes the development of this area and probably wants a substantial amount of money spent to keep it just the way it is.
GADFLY: Vocal busybody whom the reporter finds kind of funny.
IDEOLOGUE: Vocal busybody whom the reporter dislikes.
MAINSTREAM OPINION: The reporter's opinion.
MASSIVE: A signal that the reporter doesn't read enough to know any of those fancy-talk synonyms for "big" and doesn't really care about writing, anyway.
OF COURSE: Used to signal that the reporter is kind of irritated that this obvious piece of background information has to be inserted for the benefit of the readers, who are all cretins, especially by comparison with the reporter.
QUIPPED: Since no quotation attributed with this verb has ever been known to be even faintly amusing, this is used for those statements that cracked everyone up during hour 7 of the City Council meeting, but you really had to be there.
REVEALING GLIMPSE: In a nut graf, this phrase signals that the story will be a tiresome, especially long wonkfest that will in no significant way advance anyone's understanding of the issue, but that required a huge amount of work, so here's my story, where's my contest award?
TAXPAYERS' MONEY: Invoked only when writing about government programs of which the reporter disapproves.
YOU MIGHT THINK THAT ... : Since this phrase has never introduced any statement that a sane person of even average intelligence might actually think, the reporter must be embarrassed by his or her preconceptions heading into the story

Have any you'd like to add? Share a comment below.

AP Style Note - Space Center

AP has updated its entry on the Lyndon B. Johnson Space Center so that the dateline now is simply HOUSTON and not SPACE CENTER, Houston.

(You may have noticed a paucity of entries here lately. Sorry about that, but reports for Hartsville Today and other projects, plus grading, have kept me snowed under. Our regularly scheduled programming will resume in a few days.)

TC Daily Planet gets a nod

The Twin Cities Daily Planet, one of the J-lab projects funded in the same round as our HartsvilleToday site, gets a nice write-up in the Star Tribune.