Sunday, March 13, 2005

NY Times, meet Mr. Period

OK, it's the New York Times and all that, but the lede on this morning's Brian Nichols story out of Atlanta was atrocious. At 48 words, someone needed to introduce the writer and editor to a period. (Yeah, yeah, if the venerable Times wants to run it, fine. It's the Times. But no wire editor should let it into his or her paper that way; you're not the Times.)

To wit (I'm including the first two grafs for a reason):
Atlanta -- A killing spree that terrorized this city ended Saturday morning when a man accused of killing a judge and two other people during a courthouse rampage surrendered peacefully after a SWAT team cornered him in the apartment of a woman he had taken hostage as she arrived home.

As the suspect, Brian Nichols, was being driven from the scene by FBI agents in a black sport utility vehicle, Atlanta residents lined the roads to cheer and gawk.
OK, get your breath back now and try this:

Atlanta -- A killing spree that terrorized this city ended Saturday morning when a man accused of killing a judge and two other people during a courthouse rampage surrendered peacefully.

A SWAT team cornered Brian Nichols in the apartment of a woman he had taken hostage as she arrived home. As Nichols was being driven from the scene by FBI agents in a black sport utility vehicle, Atlanta residents lined the roads to cheer and gawk.
Now isn't that a bit easier?

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